Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here... don't ask you're not ready.
Read more Barney Stinson QuotesFrom: How I Met Your Mother
Ted Mosby: Barney, what are you doing? You can't take this apartment from Marshall and Lily.Barney Stinson: You think I have no morals whatsoever? I'm only pretending to live here so I can take this woman here, nail her and never have to see her again. I'm not a monster.
Barney Stinson: God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, although a lot of girls call out your name because of me. Awesome. But God, if you could get me out of this, I swear I will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ev...Barney Stinson: Oh, hang on, bro...
Ted Mosby: How was your day?Lily Aldrin: I screamed at a little girl for painting a rainbow.Ted Mosby: Oh. It sounds like the bitch had it coming.
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