How I Met Your Mother quotes

Ted Mosby: Barney, you've really grown up, you know that?
Barney Stinson: Thanks, now lets watch our two best friends have sex on tape!

Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson

I can handle you preventing me from fulfilling a life long dream, that's being in a relationship.

Ted Mosby

Ted Mosby: I'd say you're not a real New Yorker until you've stolen a cab from someone who needs it more than you do.
Lily Aldrin: No, you're not a New Yorker until you've cried on the subway and not given a damn what anyone thinks.
Marshall Eriksen: No, you're not a real New Yorker until you've killed a cockroach with your bare hand.
Narrator: And Robin would do all three of these before the day was out.

Ted Mosby