How I Met Your Mother quotes

Barney Stinson: Now, come one, pa-cow, you're the most awesome person I have ever known, well, the second most awesome.
Robin Scherbatsky: Right, of course, the first being you.
Barney Stinson: No, no, the first is this guy who lives in a place called the mirror, what-up.

Barney Stinson

Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Barney, what are you doing here? I can't believe it's really you. Come in. Have a seat. You want some tea? I know the apartment's small, I don't need much space. Let me show you some of my paintings, I think it's some of my best work ever..." Just stop it! Lily, you have to come home. You and Marshall belong together. The two of you have something that most people search their whole lives for, and never find. I know you love him, and if you knew what he was going through right now, you wouldn't be here for one more second. I bought you a ticket home. Marshall is one of the best people I know, and it won't be long until someone else realizes that, and you'll lose him forever. I can't stand the thought of that happening. And I cannot keep stealing chicks from him forever. Never ever tell anyone I was here, I will deny it to the nail, this trip never happened.

Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson: I had a drinking game based on Robin. Well, actually, it was on Robin. I poured peach schnapps into her belly button...
Ted Mosby: Dude, we've been through this. Don't tell me.
Barney Stinson: Very well. She didn't like it, anyway. Said it woke her up.

Barney Stinson, Ted Mosby