Barney: Or, it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter! Even better, triple threat: hotter, and bigger boobs!Ted: That's only two.Barney: Count again...
You're moving to Chicago? Is that even a real place? It's a style of pizza. Ted, you can't live in a pizza.
Ted, you violated a dead turkey with another dead turkey! Don't let that be in vain.
Marshall Eriksen: I miss my dad, Ted... I miss him so much.Ted Mosby: I know.Marshall Eriksen: When I was a kid, we would spend the summers in the upper peninsula. And every year we wouldn't get in the cabin till the middle of the night. And so, it'd be pitch black in the middle of the woods. I could never see anything in front of the headlights, but I always felt so safe... cause my dad was driving. He was like some sort of superhero that could just see way out into the darkness... and now he's just gone, and it's pitch black. I can't see where I'm going. I can't see anything...