You're moving to Chicago? Is that even a real place? It's a style of pizza. Ted, you can't live in a pizza.
Read more Barney Stinson QuotesFrom: How I Met Your Mother
Ted Mosby: Barney, what are you doing? You can't take this apartment from Marshall and Lily.Barney Stinson: You think I have no morals whatsoever? I'm only pretending to live here so I can take this woman here, nail her and never have to see her again. I'm not a monster.
Ted Mosby: Well... it's awkward, I mean, the guy used to be my boss. So, I went to talk to the managing partner...Brady: Fire him.Ted Mosby: Well, sir, I was thinking he could just be put on a different project.Ted Mosby: Fire him! He's an arrogant, washed-up, pain in the ass. In fact, fire everyone on that project. Druthers, Mosby, the whole lot of them.Ted Mosby: Mosby, sir? I, I... I hear Mosby's doing some great work.Brady: Fine, Mosby can stay. But tell him he's on thin ice. Come here.Brady: I like you, Crosby.
Hey kid, you know how your mom won't let you have ice-cream until after dinner? But then the waiting kind of makes it taste better? I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream and tonight I'm gonna have sex with it.