Kevin Quotes

Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.

This is my house, I have to defend it.

I'm a criminal...

Hey, I'm not afraid any more! I said I'm not afraid any more! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid any more!

You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?

This is it! Don't get scared now!

Buzz! Your girlfriend! Woof!

No clothes on anybody. Sickening.

Shut up.

Kevin McCallister : No offense, aren't you too old to be afraid?
Marley : You can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid.

Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!

Kevin McCallister : This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. Did you hear me?
Kevin McCallister : I'm living alone! I'm living alone!

Buzz, I'm going through all your private stuff! You'd better come out and pound me!

Check-Out Woman : Where's your mom?
Kevin McCallister : In the car.
Check-Out Woman : Where's your father?
Kevin McCallister : He's at work.
Check-Out Woman : What about your brothers and sisters?
Kevin McCallister : I'm an only child.
Check-Out Woman : Where do you live?
Kevin McCallister : I can't tell you that.
Check-Out Woman : Why not?
Kevin McCallister : Because you're a stranger.

This is extremely important. Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back. No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie, and Jeff. And my aunt and my cousins. And if he has time, my Uncle Frank. Okay?

I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including inbetween my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape.

Check-Out Woman : Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister : Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here alone? I don't think so.