Home Alone Quotes

Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.

I'm a criminal...

This is my house, I have to defend it.

Shut up.

The only flying that I ever did as a kid was in the family station wagon. It wasn't to France. We used to have to go over to Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur's house.

I'M GONNA KILL THAT KID!

I think we're getting scammed by a kindergartener.

You bomb me with one more can, kid, and I'll snap off your cajones and boil them in motor oil!

Where are you, you little creep?

No clothes on anybody. Sickening.

Buzz! Your girlfriend! Woof!

This is it! Don't get scared now!

Hey, I'm not afraid any more! I said I'm not afraid any more! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid any more!

You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?

Uh-oh.

Check-Out Woman : Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister : Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here alone? I don't think so.

Kate McCallister : How could we do this? We forgot him.
Peter McCallister : We didn't forget him, we just miscounted.
Kate McCallister : What kind of a mother am I?
Frank McCallister : If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.

Kate McCallister : Where are the passports and tickets?
Peter McCallister : I put them in the microwave to dry em' off.

Frank McCallister : There's no way on earth we can make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes.
Peter McCallister : Think positive, Frank!
Frank McCallister : You be positive. I'll be realistic.

Kate McCallister : Did I turn off the coffee?
Peter McCallister : No... I did.
Kate McCallister : Did you lock up?
Peter McCallister : Yeah.
Kate McCallister : Did we set the timers on the lights?
Peter McCallister : Yeah.
Kate McCallister : Did you close the garage?
Peter McCallister : That's it. I forgot to close the garage, that's it.
Peter McCallister : No, that's not it.
Kate McCallister : Well, what else could we be forgetting?
Kate McCallister : KEVIN!

Harry :From Paris?

Marv : Did they come back?

He's only a kid Harry. We can take him.

I'm gonna kill that kid!

Kevin McCallister : No offense, aren't you too old to be afraid?
Marley : You can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid.

Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!

Kevin McCallister : This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. Did you hear me?
Kevin McCallister : I'm living alone! I'm living alone!

Check-Out Woman : Where's your mom?
Kevin McCallister : In the car.
Check-Out Woman : Where's your father?
Kevin McCallister : He's at work.
Check-Out Woman : What about your brothers and sisters?
Kevin McCallister : I'm an only child.
Check-Out Woman : Where do you live?
Kevin McCallister : I can't tell you that.
Check-Out Woman : Why not?
Kevin McCallister : Because you're a stranger.

Buzz, I'm going through all your private stuff! You'd better come out and pound me!

This is extremely important. Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back. No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie, and Jeff. And my aunt and my cousins. And if he has time, my Uncle Frank. Okay?

I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including inbetween my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape.