The Apartment Quotes
Best The Apartment Movie Quotes
Directed by: Billy Wilder
Written by: Billy Wilder, I.A.L. Diamond
Starring: Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine, Fred MacMurray
Released on: June 29, 1960
Taglines: PLEASE NOTE! This one's very risque! and mighty spicy...we suggest you leave the kiddies at home!
The Apartment Quotes
C.C. Baxter: The mirror... it's broken.
Fran Kubelik: Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.
Miss Kubelik, one doesn't get to be a second administrative assistant around here unless he's a pretty good judge of character, and as far as I'm concerned you're tops. I mean, decency-wise and otherwise-wise.
C.C. Baxter: You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.
Fran Kubelik: Shut up and deal...
C.C. Baxter: Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake.
J.D. Sheldrake: What do you mean, sorry?
C.C. Baxter: You're not going to bring anybody to my apartment.
J.D. Sheldrake: I'm not just bringing anybody; I'm bringing Miss Kubelik.
C.C. Baxter: Especially not Miss Kubelik.
J.D. Sheldrake: How's that again?
C.C. Baxter: No key.
J.D. Sheldrake: Baxter, I picked you for my team because I thought you were a very bright young man. Do you realize what you're doing? Not to me, but to yourself? Normally, it takes years to work your way up to the twenty-seventh floor. But it only takes thirty seconds to be out on the street again. You dig?
C.C. Baxter: I dig.
J.D. Sheldrake: So what's it going to be?
J.D. Sheldrake: Now you're being bright.
C.C. Baxter: Thank you, sir.
J.D. Sheldrake: Say, Baxter, you gave me the wrong key.
C.C. Baxter: No, I didn't.
J.D. Sheldrake: But this is the key to the executive washroom.
C.C. Baxter: That's right, Mr. Sheldrake. I won't be needing it because I'm all washed up around here.
J.D. Sheldrake: What's gotten into you, Baxter?
C.C. Baxter: Just following doctor's orders. I've decided to become a "mensch". You know what that means? A human being.
J.D. Sheldrake: Now, hold on, Baxter...
C.C. Baxter: Save it. The old payola won't work anymore. Goodbye, Mr. Sheldrake.
Fran Kubelik: I never catch colds.
C.C. Baxter: Really? I was reading some figures from the Sickness and Accident Claims Division. You know that the average New Yorker between the ages of twenty and fifty has two and a half colds a year?
Fran Kubelik: That makes me feel just terrible.
C.C. Baxter: Why?
Fran Kubelik: Well, to make the figures come out even, if I have no colds a year, some poor slob must have five colds a year.
C.C. Baxter: Yeah... it's me.
"Looks like Marilyn Monroe!"
It's a wonderful thing, dinner for two.
On November 1st, 1959, the population of New York City was 8,042,783. If you laid all these people end to end, figuring an average height of five feet six and a half inches, they would reach from Times Square to the outskirts of Karachi, Pakistan. I know facts like this because I work for an insurance company - Consolidated Life of New York. We're one of the top five companies in the country. Our home office has 31,259 employees, which is more than the entire population of uhh... Natchez, Mississippi. I work on the 19th floor. Ordinary Policy Department, Premium Accounting Division, Section W, desk number 861.
Ya know, I used to live like Robinson Crusoe; I mean, shipwrecked among 8 million people. And then one day I saw a footprint in the sand, and there you were.
That's the way it crumbles... cookie-wise.
Related movies quotes
- Double Indemnity Quotes
- To Kill a Mockingbird Quotes
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Quotes
- Heat Quotes
- L.A. Confidential Quotes
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail Quotes
We hope you enjoyed reading The Apartment quotes. Browse other movie quotes on Ficquotes also. If you think we missed any quote from The Apartment, please send it to us so we can expand our collection of the best The Apartment quotes.