Beth: I realized after three years of marriage that David's little quirks were getting on my nerves a little.Jerry Seinfeld: Three years is a long time to be married.
Read more Jerry Seinfeld QuotesFrom: Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld: You faked with me?Elaine Benes: Yeah.Jerry Seinfeld: No.Elaine Benes: Yeah.Jerry Seinfeld: You faked it?Elaine Benes: I faked it.Jerry Seinfeld: The whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?Elaine Benes: Not bad, huh?Jerry Seinfeld: What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?Elaine Benes: Fake, fake, fake, fake.
Now, I know women often complain about the number of things you have to do to get male attention: the high heels, the pantyhose, the makeup. But let me tell you, it's even worse if you're a man. Because if you're a man, you don't know what to do. That's why we're building bridges, climbing mountains, exploring uncharted territories. You think we want to do these things? Nobody wants to build a bridge. It's really, really hard. Designing rockets, flying off into space... I guarantee you, every astronaut, when he comes back from space, goes up to a girl and goes, "So did you see me up there?"
George Costanza: I can't believe the Yankees really fired me.Jerry Seinfeld: You had a good run. Took 'em to the World Series.George Costanza: I gotta give the players most of the credit for that.Jerry Seinfeld: Don't sell yourself short. You made all those flight arrangements, hotels, buses.George Costanza: No, I don't know who was doing that.Jerry Seinfeld: So when you actually did work, what is it that you did?George Costanza: I tell you, they had a pastry cart you wouldn't believe.