Clarisse: Mr. Costanza. Mr Pensky's here to see you.George Costanza: Mr. Pensky? Of the Pensky file?
Read more George Costanza QuotesFrom: Seinfeld
I really feel, as human beings, we need more training in our basic social skills, conversational distance. Don't you hate these people that talk to you, they talk into your mouth, like you're a clown at a drive-thru? And handshakes is the worst. There's absolutely no guidelines for handshakes. You know how many people?.. Too strong, too weak. Sometimes they give you the three-quarter handshake, just the fingers. Early release, late release. Sometimes people will dispute your release. You've let go. They're hanging on. I have actually said to people, "Hey, the handshake is over." Too many pumps, coming in too high. Too sweaty. From too far away. Sometimes a guy will give you a strong grip, late release, and pull you in for the too-close conversation. To him I say, "That's three strikes. You're out."
Jerry, George Costanza: Elaine!Jerry: Do women know about shrinkage?Elaine: What do you mean like laundry?Jerry: No, like when a man goes swimming afterwards.Elaine: It shrinks?Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!Elaine: Why does it shrink?George Costanza: It just does.Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
Jerry Seinfeld: Ah, excuse me, I'm looking for a Mr. Ciccio.Ciccio: Si, si, I'mma Ciccio.Jerry Seinfeld: Poppy sent me to see you, Mr. Ciccio.Ciccio: Si, si, Poppy.Jerry Seinfeld: Um, did he, did he mention to you why I called?Ciccio: Si, the house in Tuscana.Jerry Seinfeld: Yeah, right, right. So is there anything there to rent?Ciccio: Si. Two million a Lira. You give me the check.Jerry Seinfeld: I didn't actually want to rent it.Ciccio: The keys, here are the keys. You give me the check. Two million a Lira. Seventeen hundred Americana. Molto generoso.Ciccio: Ah, si, si.Jerry Seinfeld: So see um, I didn't say that I wanted to rent it, I was just wondering if there were... houses there to rent.Ciccio: Si.Ciccio: Thissa one! Capiche?