Jerry Seinfeld: What did you do to my car?George Costanza: I couldn't help it! Elaine moved the mirror, I got discombobulated.Elaine Benes: Oh, like you've ever been bobulated.
Cosmo Kramer: Well, my swimming pool problems are solved. I just found myself miles and miles of open lanes.Jerry: What is that smell?Cosmo Kramer: That's East River.Jerry: You're swimming in the East River? The most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard?Cosmo Kramer: Technically Norfolk has more gross tonnage.Jerry: How could you swim in that water?Cosmo Kramer: I saw a couple of other guys out there.Jerry: Swimming?Cosmo Kramer: Floating, they weren't moving much. But they were out there.
George Costanza: I was free and clear! I was living the dream! I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery!Jerry Seinfeld: Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise.
Yes I'd like to speak to Marisa Tomei, please? Marisa, hi, it's George Costanza. I'm the short, funny, quirky bald man you met a little while ago... Yeah, I was just calling 'cause I wanted you to know that I'm not engaged anymore... Well, uh, she died... Toxic glue. From the wedding invitations... Well, we were expecting about two hundred people. Yeah... Anyway... I got the funeral tomorrow but, uh... my weekend is pretty wide open and I was wondering... Hello? Hello?