I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution.
Read more George Costanza QuotesFrom: Seinfeld
There are many different job in the police. It seems to me, that the chalk outline guy is one of the better jobs that you can get. You know it's not dangerous, the criminals are long gone, that seems like a good one. I don't know who they are, I guess they're people who wanted to be a sketch artists, but they couldn't draw too well..."listen Johnson, forget the sketches. Do you think if we left a dead body right there on the sidewalk, you could manage to trace around it? Could you do that?". I don't even know how it helps to solve the crime? You know, they look at the thing on the ground..."aah his arm was like that when he hit the pavement. That means the killer must've been Jim."
But I have to admit that I like flying. I like those, uh... Those little bathrooms that they have on the plane. It's kind of like a small apartment of your own on the plane. You go in, close the door, the light comes right on. It's like a little surprise party every time you go in there. But the worst way of flying, I think, is standby. You ever fly standby? It never works. You know, that's why they call it "standby". You end up standing there, going, "Bye." That didn't, uh... Yeah. So I was on this plane where the flight attendant... It was her first day on the job, so they didn't have a uniform for her yet, and that really makes a big difference. I mean, here's just some regular person coming over to you, going, "Would you mind bringing your seat back all the way up?" Who the hell are you? She says, "Well, I'm the flight attendant." Oh, yeah, well, then I'm the pilot, all right? So why don't you sit down? I'm about to bring her in.
Jerry: What happened?Cosmo Kramer: Well, you know, we were playing a game and I was pitching, and I was really, you know, throwing some smoke! And Joe Pepitone, he was up, and man, that guy you know, he was crowding the plate.Jerry: Wow, Joe Pepitone.Cosmo Kramer: Well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate! So I throw one inside, you know, a little chin music, put him right on his pants. Cause I gotta intimidate when I'm on the mound. Well, the next pitch, he's right back on the same place, so... I had to plunk him.Jerry: You plunked him?Cosmo Kramer: Oh yeah! Well, he throws down his bat, he comes racing up to the mound. Next thing, both benches are cleared, you know. A brouhaha breaks out between the guys in the camp and the old Yankee players. And as I'm trying to get Moose Skowron off of one of my teammates, somebody pulls me from behind, you know, and I turned around and I popped him. I looked down and, whoa man, it's Mickey. I punched his lights out.