Marlene: I'm sorry Jerry, I just can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.Jerry: You're a cashier!
Read more Jerry Seinfeld QuotesFrom: Seinfeld
George: The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.Jerry: Mammal.George: Whatever.Kramer: Well, what did you do next?George: Well then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him - face to face with the blowhole. I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me, but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction.Kramer: ... What is that, a Titleist?Kramer: A hole in one, huh?Jerry: Well, the crowd most have gone wild!George: Oh, yes they did, Jerry - they were all over me. It was like Rocky 1. Diane came up to me, threw her arms around me, and kissed me. We both had tears streaming down our faces. I never saw anyone so beautiful. It was at that moment I decided to tell her I was not a marine biologist!Jerry: Wow! What'd she say?George: She told me to go to hell, and I took the bus home.
Jerry Seinfeld: See now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.George Costanza: Really?Jerry Seinfeld: Oh yeah. The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's land.George Costanza: Haven't we had this conversation before?Jerry Seinfeld: You think?George Costanza: I think we have.Jerry Seinfeld: Yeah, maybe we have.
That gotta hurts!