House M.D. quotes

James: You can't go in there.
Dr. Gregory House: Who are you and why are you wearing a tie?
James: I'm Dr. Cuddy's new assistant. Can I tell her what it's regarding?
Dr. Gregory House: Yes. I would like to know why she gets a secretary and I don't.
James: I'm her assistant, not her secretary. I graduated from Rutgers.
Dr. Gregory House: Hmm. I didn't know they had a secretarial school. Well I hope you took some classes in sexual harassment law. Does the word 'ka-ching' mean anything to you? I'm going in now.

James, Dr. Gregory House

Dr. Chris Taub: Can you please hint to House that you had a sex dream? I'd really prefer not to get distracted with trying to cure the patient today.
Dr. Jessica Adams: I refuse to divulge my dreams about girl-on-girl loofa action.

Dr. Chris Taub

Dr. Chris Taub: If she thinks I'm cheating she would ask.
Thirteen: Because you tell the truth.
Dr. Chris Taub: I'm not seeing anyone else.
Thirteen: Doesn't matter. You have a history. And that's not her fault.
Dr. Chris Taub: What am I supposed to do? I can't prove a negative.
Thirteen: That is a problem.

Thirteen, Dr. Chris Taub