If she won't speak or move because she decides not to, which it must be if she isn't ill, then it shows that she is mentally very strong. I might not be equal to it.
Read more Alma QuotesFrom: Persona
Karl-Henrik and I rented a cottage by the sea once. It was June, and we were all alone. One day, when Karl-Henrik had gone into town, I went to the beach on my own. It was a warm and lovely day. There was another girl there. She'd paddled over from another island because our beach was sunnier and more secluded. We lay there, sunbathing beside one another, complete naked, dozing now and then, putting suntan lotion on. We had those cheap straw hats on, you know? I had a blue ribbon around mine. I lay there peeping out from under my hat at the landscape and the sea and the sun. It was kind of funny. Suddenly I saw two figures leaping about on the rock above us. They would hide and then peek out. "There's a couple of boys looking at us," I told the girl. Her name was Katarina. "Let them look," she said, and turned over on her back. It was a strange feeling. I wanted to jump up and put my robe on but I just lay there on my stomach with my bottom in the air, not at all embarrassed, completely calm. Katarina lay there next to me the whole time, with her breasts and thick thighs. She just lay there sort of giggling to herself. I noticed that the boys had come closer. They just stood there looking at us. I noticed they were terribly young. Then one of them - the more daring of the two - came up and squatted down next to Katarina. He pretended to be busy picking at his toes. I felt so strange. Suddenly I heard Katarina say, "Hey, why don't you come over here?" She took him by the hand and helped him off with his jeans and shirt. Then suddenly he was on top of her. She guided him in with her hands on his behind. The other boy just sat on the slope and watched. I heard Katarina whisper in the boy's ear and laugh. His face was right next to mine. It was red and swollen. Suddenly I turned over and said, "Aren't you coming over to me too?" And Katarina said, "Go to her now." He pulled out of her and fell on top of me, completely hard. He grabbed my breast. It hurt so bad. I was ready somehow and came almost at once. Can you believe it? I was about to say, "Careful you don't get me pregnant" when he suddenly came. I felt it like never before in my life, the way he sprayed his seed into me. He gripped my shoulders and arched backward. I came over and over. Katarina lay on her side and watched and held him from behind. After he came, she took him in her arms and used his hand to make herself come. When she came, she screamed like a banshee. Then all three of us started laughing. We called to the other boy, who was sitting on the slope. His name was Peter. He came down, looking all confused and shivering despite the sunshine. Katarina unbuttoned his pants and started to play with him. And when he came, she took him in her mouth. He bent down and kissed her back. She turned around, took his head in both hands, and gave him her breast. The other boy got so excited that he and I started all over again. It was just as good as before. Then we went for a swim and parted ways. When I got home, Karl-Henrik was already back from town. We ate dinner and drank some red wine he'd brought. Then we had sex. It's never been as good, before or since. Can you understand that?
He was married. We had an affair for five years. Then he got tired of it, of course. I was terribly in love, and he was the first. I remember it all like one long torment. Long periods of agony, and brief moments when -- your teaching me how to smoke reminding me. He smoked constantly. In hindsight it all seems so dreary. A real dime store novel. In some strange way it was never quite real. I don't know how to explain it. At least, I was never quite real to him. But my pain was real, that's for sure. But that was somehow all a part of it in some nasty way, as if that's how it was supposed to be.
At the hospital where I took my exam, there's a home for old nurses who were nurses all their lives and lived for their work and were always in uniform. They live in their little rooms there. Imagine believing so strongly in something that you devote your entire life to it. Having something to believe in, working at something, believing your life has meaning. I like that. Holding on tight to something, no matter what -- I think that's how it should be. Meaning something to other people. Don't you agree?