He was married. We had an affair for five years. Then he got tired of it, of course. I was terribly in love, and he was the first. I remember it all like one long torment. Long periods of agony, and brief moments when -- your teaching me how to smoke reminding me. He smoked constantly. In hindsight it all seems so dreary. A real dime store novel. In some strange way it was never quite real. I don't know how to explain it. At least, I was never quite real to him. But my pain was real, that's for sure. But that was somehow all a part of it in some nasty way, as if that's how it was supposed to be.
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From: Persona