You dropped a hundred-and-fifty grand on a fuckin' education you coulda got for a dollar-fifty in late charges at the public library.
You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and he does his whole, "We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," then he puts the mike down but he forgets to turn it off. Then he turns to the copilot and goes, "You know, all I could go for right now is a fuckin' blow job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess fuckin' goes bombin' up from the back of the plane to tell him the mic's still on, and this guy behind me goes, "Hey, hon, don't forget the coffee!"
Will: I don't care if Helen of Troy walks in the room, that's Game 6!Sean: Oh, Helen of Troy...Will: Oh my God; and who are these fuckin' friends of yours, they let you get away with that?Sean: Oh... they had to.Will: W-w-w-what'd you say to them?Sean: I just slid my ticket across the table, and I said, "Sorry, guys; I gotta see about a girl."Will: I gotta go see about a girl?Sean: Yeah.Will: That's what you said? And they let you get away with that?Sean: Oh, yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.Will: You're kiddin' me.Sean: No, I'm not kiddin' you, Will. That's why I'm not talkin' right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin' the damn game. That's regret.Will: Wow... Woulda been nice to catch that game, though.Sean: I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit a homer.
Chuckie: Wait, Bill. Hold it. Did you hear that?Chuckie: Morgan! If you're watching pornos in my mom's room again, I'm gonna give you a fucking beating!Morgan: What's up, fellas?Billy: Morgan, why don't you jerk off in your own fucking house? Man, that's fucking filthy.Morgan: I ain't got a VCR in my house.Chuckie: Aw, c'mon, not on my glove.Morgan: I didn't use the glove.Chuckie: That's my Little League glove.Morgan: What do you want me to do?Chuckie: I mean, what's wrong with you? You'll hump a baseball glove?Morgan: I was just using it for cleanup.Chuckie: Stop jerking off in my mother's room!Morgan: Ain't there another VCR in the house?Chuckie: It's just sad, bro.