It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia quotes

Charlie Kelly: Check it out... Who's to say we didn't put that very same poison in the drinking water?
Mac: Everybody relax. He's lying. He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie Kelly: No, I don't have any on me. But I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank Reynolds: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles.
Frank Reynolds: What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie Kelly: Well, that's mayonnaise. That's a decoy.
Frank Reynolds: And the mayo?
Charlie Kelly: That's shampoo.
Frank Reynolds: You're telling me I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie Kelly: If you're using the mayonnaise, yeah... probably.

Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly: Dennis, can I give you some advice?
Dennis Reynolds: Absolutely not.

Charlie Kelly, Dennis Reynolds

Charlie Kelly: Someone should've worn a shirt, right?
Mac: Probably the kid.

Charlie Kelly