Bonnie Kelly: I had an abortion. It just didn't take.Charlie Kelly: What does that mean?Bonnie Kelly: You survived it. You survived the abortion!
Read more Charlie Kelly QuotesFrom: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Uncle Jack: As the great Johnny Cochran once said, if the glove doesn't fit, give up.Charlie Kelly: That is not what he said. How are you a lawyer Jack?
Charlie Kelly: Seven straight hours of lecturing?Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, and five hours alone dedicated to the evils of homosexuality, from him?Dee Reynolds: Did anyone else notice that he had an erection the entire time?Charlie Kelly: Of course.Frank Reynolds: How could you miss it?
Dennis Reynolds: Once the guests arrive, we will ply them with liquor, and then I will present to them this peace treaty that I will have them sign.Frank Reynolds: Why you always want people to sign creepy documents?Dennis Reynolds: Well, Frank, once something's in writing, that means it's set in stone. Then no one can do anything to stop me.
Read more Charlie Kelly Quotes