Uncle Jack: As the great Johnny Cochran once said, if the glove doesn't fit, give up.Charlie Kelly: That is not what he said. How are you a lawyer Jack?
Read more Charlie Kelly QuotesFrom: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
I mean, shit, if you want it to be a bicep, it needs more veins!
Charlie Kelly: Ohhhhhhhh shit! Look at that door, dude. See that door there? The one marked "Pirate"? You think a pirate lives in there?Dennis Reynolds: I see a door marked "Private". Is that the door you're talking about?Charlie Kelly: Nah, I was talking abou... I didn't say... did you... what did you hear?Dennis Reynolds: I heard you say there was a door marked "Pirate".Charlie Kelly: Well, are we gonna talk about pirates all day or are we gonna see what's living in there?Dennis Reynolds: You're the one that... Jesus Christ, man. Shit.
Dennis Reynolds: You are dressed like the Phantom of the Opera. He's not a vampire.Charlie Kelly: He eats theater people.Dennis Reynolds: No, he doesn't.Mac: I think he might.Frank Reynolds: He does.Dennis Reynolds: And I'm surprised you even know who the Phantom of the Opera is.Mac: He might not.Frank Reynolds: He doesn't.Charlie Kelly: No, I don't. I don't.