How I Met Your Mother quotes

Back boobs... the visual stimulation of missionary meets the emotional detachment of doggy style, patent pending.

Barney Stinson

Ted Mosby: Marshall Eriksen, you just came back from your third date with Lily. How was it?
Marshall Eriksen: Great. Yeah. I just... I think I'm falling for this girl. Pretty hard. But isn't everything happening too fast? I mean, maybe I should see other people.
Ted Mosby: No, dude, no! Lily Aldrin is special. You hold on to that girl!
Marshall Eriksen: She is. But I'm only 18 and...
Ted Mosby: Marshall. You being 18 isn't a bad thing. It just means that you get to spend more of your life with her. I mean, I'm probably not gonna meet my wife until I'm, like... 23!

Ted Mosby

Lily, I love you. But asking someone to come see your play is like asking for a ride to the airport, or to crash on someone's couch or to help you move. Call a cab, book a room, hire some movers and repeat after me, friends don't let friends come see their crappy play!

Barney Stinson