How I Met Your Mother quotes

Barney Stinson: One time I met a girl... at this very bar...
Barney Stinson: I saw that she had the crazy eyes... but I ignored it. And then, sure enough...
Lauren: Barney, can I ask you a question?
Barney Stinson: Anything.
Lauren: Would you like to have a three-some?
Barney Stinson: Of course...
Lauren: Great! It would be me, you and Mr Weasels!
Ted Mosby: So, did you do it ?
Barney Stinson: No. It ended up being just the two-some. With the third one watching from a chair.
Ted Mosby: Which one were you ?
Barney Stinson: I'd rather not say.

Barney Stinson, Ted Mosby

Cray-cray gotta go bye-bye before you get stab-stabbed.

Barney Stinson

Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here... don't ask you're not ready.

Barney Stinson