Robin Scherbatsky: You stole the blue French horn for me.Ted: I would have stolen you a whole orchestra.
The truth is, I thought I'd be married by now and going through all this stuff along side you guys. But even if I meet the girl of my dreams right this second I'm still one night and nine months away from having a family of my own. And that's assuming the mother of my children is just a huge slut.
Ted Mosby: As you can see, I do just fine on my own. I don't need a baby-sitter.Barney Stinson: See. All this time, I thought you need a wingman to fly, but the truth is you... you've got your own wings now.Ted Mosby: Hmm.Barney Stinson: Since you and Robin split, you've been gestating. Growing in your cocoon. And last night... you burst out of that cocoon... , like a majestic, uh... gosh, what is it that comes out of a cocoon? I was always bad at science.Lily Aldrin: He's gonna say it.Ted Mosby: A butterfly?Ted Mosby: What?Barney Stinson: Nothing, buddy.Ted Mosby: Ow! Why did that hurt so...? Oh my God!Ted Mosby: I have a tattoo!Barney Stinson: Oh, that's not a tattoo. That, dear boy, is a tramp stamp.
Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here... don't ask you're not ready.
