How I Met Your Mother quotes

Ted Mosby: Well... it's awkward, I mean, the guy used to be my boss. So, I went to talk to the managing partner...
Brady: Fire him.
Ted Mosby: Well, sir, I was thinking he could just be put on a different project.
Ted Mosby: Fire him! He's an arrogant, washed-up, pain in the ass. In fact, fire everyone on that project. Druthers, Mosby, the whole lot of them.
Ted Mosby: Mosby, sir? I, I... I hear Mosby's doing some great work.
Brady: Fine, Mosby can stay. But tell him he's on thin ice. Come here.
Brady: I like you, Crosby.

Ted Mosby

Barney Stinson: I see what you're doing, you didn't bring your dad here to marry us, you wanna get him back together with mom, which is completely insane, by the way.
James Stinson: My dad is single, mom is single, your dad is happily married and with two kids. Which one makes more sense?
Barney Stinson: I agree, it's a tie.

Barney Stinson

Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here... don't ask you're not ready.

Barney Stinson