Barney: Dude, lots of chicks think architects are hot. Think about it, you create something out of nothing. You're like God. There's nobody hotter than God.Ted: I love it when you quote Scripture.
Ted: Are you a vampire?Carl: That's it, I'm cutting you off. Go home, Ted. Get some sleep.Ted: Yep, the sun's comin' up pretty soon. Wouldn't wanna be around for that, now would we?
Ted Mosby: Barney, what are you doing? You can't take this apartment from Marshall and Lily.Barney Stinson: You think I have no morals whatsoever? I'm only pretending to live here so I can take this woman here, nail her and never have to see her again. I'm not a monster.
Older Ted: It got so bad Barney even tried being his own wing man.Barney: Hi. Have you met me?
