Ted: Are you a vampire?Carl: That's it, I'm cutting you off. Go home, Ted. Get some sleep.Ted: Yep, the sun's comin' up pretty soon. Wouldn't wanna be around for that, now would we?
Read more Ted Mosby QuotesFrom: How I Met Your Mother
Ted Mosby: I used to believe in destiny, you know? I go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line, reading my favorite novel, whistling the song that's been stuck in my head all week, and I think: "Wow... Hey, maybe she's the one?" Now I think: "I just know that bitch is going to take the last whole wheat everything bagel."Robin Scherbatsky: You've just been focused on work.Ted Mosby: No, it's more than that. I stopped believing. Not in some depressed I'm-gonna-cry-during-my-toast way. Not in a way I even noticed until tonight. It's just, every day I think I... believe a little less, and a little less, and a little less, and that sucks. What do I about that, Scherbatsky?Robin Scherbatsky: You're Ted Mosby. You start believing again.Ted Mosby: In what? Destiny?Robin Scherbatsky: Chemistry. You got chemistry, you only need one other thing.Ted Mosby: What's that?Robin Scherbatsky: Timing. But timing's a bitch.
Robin Scherbatsky: Are you acting out the last scene of "Sleepless In Seattle" with dolls?Ted Mosby: How long have you been there?Robin Scherbatsky: Ten seconds.Ted Mosby: Then yeah, just the last scene.
Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here... don't ask you're not ready.