C.C. Baxter: You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.Fran Kubelik: Shut up and deal...
On November 1st, 1959, the population of New York City was 8,042,783. If you laid all these people end to end, figuring an average height of five feet six and a half inches, they would reach from Times Square to the outskirts of Karachi, Pakistan. I know facts like this because I work for an insurance company - Consolidated Life of New York. We're one of the top five companies in the country. Our home office has 31,259 employees, which is more than the entire population of uhh... Natchez, Mississippi. I work on the 19th floor. Ordinary Policy Department, Premium Accounting Division, Section W, desk number 861.
J.D. Sheldrake: Ya know, you see a girl a couple of times a week, just for laughs, and right away they think you're gonna divorce your wife. Now I ask you, is that fair?C.C. Baxter: No, sir, it's very unfair... Especially to your wife.
C.C. Baxter: Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake.J.D. Sheldrake: What do you mean, sorry?C.C. Baxter: You're not going to bring anybody to my apartment.J.D. Sheldrake: I'm not just bringing anybody; I'm bringing Miss Kubelik.C.C. Baxter: Especially not Miss Kubelik.J.D. Sheldrake: How's that again?C.C. Baxter: No key.J.D. Sheldrake: Baxter, I picked you for my team because I thought you were a very bright young man. Do you realize what you're doing? Not to me, but to yourself? Normally, it takes years to work your way up to the twenty-seventh floor. But it only takes thirty seconds to be out on the street again. You dig?C.C. Baxter: I dig.J.D. Sheldrake: So what's it going to be?J.D. Sheldrake: Now you're being bright.C.C. Baxter: Thank you, sir.J.D. Sheldrake: Say, Baxter, you gave me the wrong key.C.C. Baxter: No, I didn't.J.D. Sheldrake: But this is the key to the executive washroom.C.C. Baxter: That's right, Mr. Sheldrake. I won't be needing it because I'm all washed up around here.J.D. Sheldrake: What's gotten into you, Baxter?C.C. Baxter: Just following doctor's orders. I've decided to become a "mensch". You know what that means? A human being.J.D. Sheldrake: Now, hold on, Baxter...C.C. Baxter: Save it. The old payola won't work anymore. Goodbye, Mr. Sheldrake.