Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) Quotes

I am Groot.

Groot : I am Groot.
Rocket : He hates hats.
Groot : I am Groot.
Rocket : On anyone, not just himself.
Groot : I am Groot.
Rocket : One minute you think someone has a weird-shaped head, the next minute it's just because you realize part of that head is the hat.
Rocket : That's why you don't like hats?

You shouldn't have killed my mom and squished my Walkman.

Baby Groot : I am Groot.
Yondu : What's that?
Rocket : He says, "Welcome to the frickin' Guardians of the Galaxy." Only he didn't use "frickin'."

Showtime, a-holes!

And now I know how Yondu felt.

Rocket : All right, first you flick this switch, then this switch. That activates it. Then you push this button, which will give you five minutes to get out of there. Now, whatever you do, don't push this button, because that will set off the bomb immediately and we'll all be dead. Now, repeat back what I just said.
Groot : I am Groot.
Rocket : Uh-huh.
Groot : I am Groot.
Rocket : That's right.
Groot :I am Groot.
Rocket : No! No, that's the button that will kill everyone! Try again.
Groot : Hmm. I am Groot.
Rocket : Mmm-hmm.
Groot : I am Groot?
Rocket : Uh-huh.
Groot :I am Groot.
Rocket : No! That's exactly what you just said! How is that even possible? Which button is the button you're supposed to push? Point to it.
Rocket : No!

Peter Quill : Well, you may not be mortal, but me...
Ego : No, Peter... death will remain a stranger to both of us, as long as the light burns within the planet.
Peter Quill : I'm immortal?
Ego : Mmm-hmm.
Peter Quill : Really?
Ego : Yes! As long as the light exists.
Peter Quill : And, I could use the light to build cool things like, how you made this whole planet?
Ego : Well, it might take you a few million years of practice before you get really good at it. But, yes!
Peter Quill : What! This is... Well, get ready for a 800-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather Locklear...
Ego : You can do anything you want.
Peter Quill : I'm gonna make some weird shit.

What if this man is your Hasselhoff?

You will always be my sister.

What did you do to me?

There's no unspoken thing.

What is your goal here? To get everyone to hate you? Because it's working.

Gamora : You own a planet and can destroy two dozen spaceships without a suit. What are you exactly?
Ego : I'm what's called a Celestial, sweetheart.

Peter Quill : You look like Mary Poppins.
Yondu : Is he cool?
Peter Quill : Hell yeah, he's cool.
Yondu : I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!

Peter Quill : What is it?
Kraglin : It's called a Zune. It's what everybody's listening to on Earth nowadays.

Rocket : Does anybody have any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button.
Peter Quill : I don't have any tape. Let me check. Yo, Yondu, do you have any. Ow! Do you have any tape?... Gamora? Do you have any tape? Tape! Ah, never mind. Ow! Drax, do you have any tape? Yes, Scotch tape would work... Then why did you ask me if Scotch tape would work, if you don't have any? Nobody has any tape!
Rocket : Not a single person has tape?
Peter Quill : Nope!
Rocket : Did you ask Nebula?
Peter Quill : Yes!
Rocket : Are you sure?
Peter Quill : I asked Yondu and she was sitting right next to him.
Rocket : I knew you were lying!
Peter Quill : You have priceless batteries and an atomic bomb in your bag. If anybody's gonna have tape, it's you!
Rocket : That's exactly my point! I have to do everything!
Peter Quill : You are wasting a lot of time here!
Rocket : We're all gonna die.

Peter Quill : I told Gamora how when I was a kid I used to pretend David Hasselhoff was my dad. He's a singer and actor from Earth, really famous guy. Earlier, it struck me... Yondu didn't have a talking car, but he did have a flying arrow. He didn't have the beautiful voice of an angel, but he did have the whistle of one. Both Yondu and David Hasselhoff went on kick-ass adventures and hooked up with hot women, and fought robots... I guess David Hasselhoff did kind of end up being my dad after all. Only it was you, Yondu.
Peter Quill : I had a pretty cool dad. What I'm trying to say here is... sometimes that thing you're searching for your whole life... is right there by your side all along. And you don't even know it.

Gamora : Hi.

Gamora : Groot, get out of the way! You're gonna get hurt!

Ayesha : Just who the hell do you think you are?
Peter Quill : Well...

Can we put the bickering on hold until after we survive this massive space battle?

Rocket : So, we're saving the galaxy, again?
Peter Quill : I guess.
Rocket : Awesome! We're really gonna be able to jack up our prices if we're two-time galaxy savers.

Nebula : I win. I win. I bested you in combat.
Gamora : No. I saved your life.
Nebula : Well, you were stupid enough to let me live.
Gamora : You let me live!
Nebula : I don't need you always trying to beat me!
Gamora : I'm not the one that just flew across the universe just because I wanted to win.
Nebula : Do not tell me what I want.
Gamora : I don't need to tell you what you want! It's obvious!
Nebula : You were the one who wanted to win. And I just wanted a sister!
Nebula : You were all I had. But you were the one who needed to win. Thanos pulled my eye from my head... and my brain from my skull... and my arm from my body... because of you.

Rocket : He didn't chase them away.
Peter Quill : No.
Rocket : Even though he yelled at them, and was always mean... And he stole batteries he didn't need.
Peter Quill : Well, of course not.

Ayesha : Every citizen is born exactly as designed by the community. Impeccable, both physically and mentally. We control the DNA of our progeny, germinating them in birthing pods.
Peter Quill : I guess I prefer to make people the old-fashioned way.
Ayesha : Well, Perhaps someday, you could give me a history lesson in the archaic ways of our ancestors. For academic purposes.

Gamora : Nebula... I was a child like you. I was concerned with staying alive until the next day, every day. And I never considered what Thanos was doing to you. I'm trying to make it right. There are little girls like you across the universe who are in danger. You can stay with us and help them.
Nebula : I will help them by killing Thanos.

Nebula :I'm hungry. Hand me some of that yaro root.
Gamora : No. It's not ripe yet... and I hate you.

Rocket : I was cybernetically engineered to pilot a spacecraft.
Peter Quill : You were cybernetically engineered to be a douchebag!

Peter Quill : Doesn't eternity get boring?
Ego : Not if you have a purpose, Peter... which is why you're here.