Derek Zoolander Quotes

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

I'm not an ambi-turner.

You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't.

Derek Zoolander: Why do you hate models, Matilda?

Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?
Matilda: It's where you throw up after every meal!
Derek Zoolander: Matilda! Matilda! SO WHAT? I've thrown up after lots of meals!
Hansel: Yeah! It's a great way to lose pounds before a show!

Derek Zoolander: What say we settle this on the runway... Han-Solo?
Hansel: Are you challenging me to a walk-off... Boo-Lander?

Derek Zoolander: Who am I?
Derek's Reflection: I don't know.
Derek Zoolander: I guess I have a lot of things to ponder.
Hansel: The results are in, amigo! What's left to ponder?
Hansel: Nice comeback!

Derek Zoolander: Fine.
Hansel: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Derek Zoolander: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Hansel: Well, you go first.

Hansel: Yeah, you're cool to hide here, but first me and him got to straighten some shit out.

Derek Zoolander: You mean, you haven't...
Matilda: Done it in a while, yeh.
Hansel: Now, what's a while? Like, eight days?

Hansel: Excuse me, bra.
Derek Zoolander: You're excused, and I'm not your bra!

Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Derek Zoolander: And?
Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.

Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.

Matilda: Honestly?
Hansel: Yes.
Matilda: I think they're vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered.
Hansel: I totally agree with you. But how do you feel about male models?

Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?

How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?

So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?

How bout I answer your question with another question; how many abo-digitals do you see modelling?

Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".

I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.