Seeley Booth Quotes

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Are you gonna arrest me for assault?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: From what I saw, purely self-defense.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Debris embedded in the remains suggests an explosion.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So does that giant hole in the wall.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're amazing, you know that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.

Zack Addy: Sometime, when you're not busy, I wonder if I could ask you a few questions about sexual positions?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: If you even try, I will take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes.

My therapist is going to be pissed.

Talk to me squints, as close to English as possible.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: There's a phrase in ancient Greek burned into the back of the vault door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, what's it say?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know, it's in ancient Greek.

Temperance Brennan: Are you aware that turkeys do a dance when they are reunited with a person they recognize?
Seeley Booth: Dance? That's great, Bones, but I guarantee you that they don't dance as good as they taste.

Bones, let's wait until she puts down that big chainsaw before we accuse her of murder.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Are you pregnant?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I'm not.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why are you looking at me?

Live by the bone, die by the bone.

Oh, well, I- You know, I missed you, so I... was reading some of your books. They're thick. They're, they're really... They're heavy.

Okay. Listen. Psychology and anthropology. I liked it better when you two were fighting!

Come to his assistance, all ye saints of God. Meet him, all ye angels of the Lord, receiving his soul, presenting it in the sight of God Almighty. Amen. That's a battle field prayer, but I'm mostly a soldier, so... it seems to fit.

Sayonara. I don't even like feet... when they're not falling off. So, when you get a face, you get back to me, okay?

Come on, Bones, this is a big one. You're turning 40. You're flipping the old odometer.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: When the FBI gets stuck, we call in the squints.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Squints?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, you squint at things.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, you mean people with high IQ's and basic reasoning skill?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Do you realize when we go to trial he could use the insanity defense.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The guy is nuts.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes, but is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh, or was he already nuts the first time he ate flesh, or did he just lick his fingers after surgery?

Mr. Taylor: Some iniquity killed my boy. You know that word, Agent Booth? It's from the Bible.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Deliver me from the workers of iniquity, and save me from bloody men.
Mr. Taylor: You know your Psalms.

Special Agent Tricia Finn: Agent Booth, can I have a moment, please? Um, have I done something to offend you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, I'm not really into this whole "West Coast In Touch With Your Feelings" thing, okay? So...
Special Agent Tricia Finn: Yeah. Um, I'm really good at my job, and I've been nothing but cooperative and helpful to you, but you just freeze me out.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Mmm-hmm.
Special Agent Tricia Finn: And I know you have nothing against working with women because you're partners with Dr. Brennan, so your problem must be with me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, I don't have anything against you, Agent Finn. I just don't like the way you view the FBI.
Special Agent Tricia Finn: What do you mean?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: This is a proud and noble job but you're using it to get to something else. My advice? Write your script, get an agent, hell, have a little plastic surgery! But quit using my Federal Bureau of Investigation as a stepping stone into something that you think is better. Because in my book, there is nothing better.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You put a hit out on my partner?
Gang Leader: She's not FBI.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I never said anything about FBI. She's my partner, and if anything happens to her I will find you and I will kill you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I won't think twice. Look at my eyes, look at my face... if anything happens to her, I will kill you. This is between you and me, nobody sees, nobody knows. You've got nothing to prove. You understand? You understand?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, I thought so. Now if you don't mind I'll leave first because I have somewhere I have to be.

You know "Treasure of the Sierra Madre" but you don't know Charlize Theron? You know who you are? You're my grandmother.

FBI Deputy Director Sam Cullen: I should kick your ass.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
FBI Deputy Director Sam Cullen: What did you do? Take sick time to work on this?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Migraine.
FBI Deputy Director Sam Cullen: Thanks, Booth. Catch the son-of-a-bitch who did this to my daughter.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's absolutely my intention, sir.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's never just one person who dies, Bones. Never. Never.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, we all die a little bit, Bones. With each shot, we all die a little bit.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The NCIC database? That's... that's criminals! My parents were on a list of federal offenders?
Russ Brennan: How do you like that? Guess a criminal nature runs in the family.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You were seven years old, Russ. Old enough to remember. What... what is your real name? What is my real name?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, it's right here in the file.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No! No! I want him to tell me!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What is my real name, Russ?
Russ Brennan: My name was Kyle. Your name was Joy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You are not my brother!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No! He lied about that! What else are you lying about? What else are you not telling us?

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Booth, if Dr. Brennan were to quit...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: If she were to leave the Jeffersonian...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, the squints would flee this institution like the French army.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, I do as I'm ordered.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, you don't, Seeley.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, here we go. What's going on, Camille?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What if I fired her? What would you do?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm with Bones, Cam. All the way. Don't doubt it for a second.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I got something for you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: A bottle of hard liquor?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Next best thing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Meet Jasper.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're gonna be okay.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Definitely.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh my god! I completely forgot you can't be here, Booth. You're a degenerate gambler.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Former gambler, okay? Not degenerate. I've been through the program, okay? And you know, he's on the move!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What if you get a sudden urge to gamble while you're here? It's like sending an alcoholic to a distillery. Do you need to sit down?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I wish you wouldn't keep letting me hug you when I get scared.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, when I get scared, I'll hug *you*. We'll call it even.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after Bones pulls out her gun] You know, I could have the Bureau pull your license.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, and I could assign Zack as your forensic Anthropologist.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I slept with Sully last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I thought you already...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. Last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well, it's really none of my business.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Except that we're partners.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, there's that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And you told me about your socks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, sex, socks, they're pretty much the same word.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow! You look great!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You said I looked good before!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whose day is it, huh? It's Angela's. C'mon, let's go.

FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures, just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places, some they just give up hope because in their mind they're thinking "Oh there's nobody out there for me," but all of us, we keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while... every once in a while, two people meet and there's that spark, and yes, Bones, he's handsome and she's beautiful and maybe that's all they see at first, but making love... making love... that's when two people become one.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, Bones - a miracle.

Dr. Lance Sweets: There is clearly a very deep emotional bond between you two.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're just partners.
Dr. Lance Sweets: And why do you think I would have thought otherwise?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Cause, you're 12.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And I'm changing my password.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Daisy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did you know?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's your second favorite flower. I know you, Bones. Try a planet.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: JUPITER!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It was like kissing my brother.
Caroline Julian: You sure must like your brother.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She does.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tax shelter? Exactly how loaded are you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well *that* is an offensive way to phrase the question, but... quite loaded. I'm betting a seven figure advance for my next book.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Seven figures? Wow! Without the decimal point?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The publisher makes considerably more.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's the first of those seven figures?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A prime number. What do you do with your money?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Use it for food, rent.

AUSA Caroline Julian: Have you no control over these people?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: None what-so-ever.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, Caroline, it's Bones! It's different. Let's just admit it!
AUSA Caroline Julian: Here's what's not different.
AUSA Caroline Julian: Lose the "Cocky" belt buckle.
AUSA Caroline Julian: No badges saying "Resist Authority" or "The Truth is Out There."
AUSA Caroline Julian: Do not cut your own hair the day before the trial.
AUSA Caroline Julian: Ugly up a little. The plain women on the jury hate you.
AUSA Caroline Julian: Use your fully grown up words.
AUSA Caroline Julian: Eat! Last time your stomach was growling louder than your testimony.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, break down the door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door.

Bones, two guys at the same time, it's not right! I mean, that's why they invented dueling.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Wait... What if he... look I don't know what if he overpowers me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Zack?
Dr. Zack Addy: I'm much stronger than I look.
Dr. Lance Sweets: He's done it before. He killed a man.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Zack, promise you're not gonna kill Sweet.
Dr. Zack Addy: I promise.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: There you go.
Dr. Zack Addy: Yeah.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [slight chuckle] There you go.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. You are not gonna believe this.
Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, try toppin' death by office supplies.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I was wrackin' my brain over the trace analysis from the sweater. Phlofurol proteolythic enzyme, tryoral methane dye...
Agent Seeley Booth: Hodgins. Hodgins. Hodgins. Eyes are glazing over.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a Blue Hawaiian.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's a Blue Hawaiian?
Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it's a potent cocktail. Two of those puppies and you're asking yourself, hey, why am I naked and who are all these people?

Ryan Stephenson: One of God's challenges to us is to see past the surface.
Ryan Stephenson: To the deeper essential nature, which lies right beneath.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You believe our bodies are like dustcovers?
Ryan Stephenson: That's exactly what I think, Agent Booth. Rip them off, and see what's underneath... You see, all this time I though my father was killed, or had abandoned me, and that's just not what happened. He didn't want to shake my faith. He was protecting me from the truth. He... he didn't want me to have to choose between him and God, and I love my father for that. I just hope God can forgive me for making him feel that way.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Seeing Bones wearing glasses] Right. What I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair and say "Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?"
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Never mind.

Max Keenan: Can I ask you a question?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sure.
Max Keenan: You - are you - uh are you sleeping with my daughter?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Max Keenan: Why? Are you gay?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Max Keenan: She not attractive enough?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones is beautiful.
Max Keenan: Is it because of me. Because I killed one man and we both know he deserved it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right just cut it out, Max. I'll talk to her. Probably won't do any good. I'll talk to her.
Max Keenan: You're a good man. And I want that for her.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Um, can I offer a piece of advice?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well that's why we called you, Sweets.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Don't try too hard to be their friends. Act like you're more interested in each other than any of them, all right? They will come to you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, thanks Sweets.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, uh, sex right?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Oh good idea.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, well, I think what we need to do is get a syncopated rhythm going that takes advantage of the natural frequency of the springs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Are you this spontaneous during real sex?

Special Agent Payton Perotta: How are you, Agent Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The only reason that I am not comin' in right now is because Bones told me not to. But she's your responsibility, nothing can happen to her, okay? If anything happens... to her... y'know that silky black hair, soft skin...
Special Agent Payton Perotta: ...I... will not let her out of my sight, you have my word. Now, uh, we should really get back to the case, Agent Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Am I stopping you?

Chet Newcomb: It was an accident?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, he was
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's the sensitive way to say murdered?
Chet Newcomb: Murdered?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sorry, but when you're ready, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your brother's...
Chet Newcomb: Murder.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're sorry for your loss.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: FIRE IN THE HOLE!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What the hell was that?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: We're okay. Everything's okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should get out of here before lock down. Let Cam deal with it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. All right.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You know you're grounded, right?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look Bones, you can't go around telling everybody what's on your mind even though it's the truth. Okay? What if we were going out, right? And you were, you know, taking forever to get ready. You come out in this dress, and I told you I didn't like it. What are you gonna do?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd reevaluate. Change or ignore you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Of course you would Bones. Good answer.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets... has scars on his back. Old one.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Really?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What kind of scars?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like he'd been whipped.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whipped?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I saw them.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: That explains his near obsession with your childhood trauma.

Parker Booth: Couldn't you be his girlfriend?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Buddy, you're gonna have to quit that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That would be inappropriate.
Parker Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because... we work together.
Parker Booth: That's a stupid reason.

Dr. Lance Sweets: I'd consider it a personal favor, Dr. Brennan.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ouch. Personal favors are kind of like penalty shots. You kind of have to take them. Unlike dinner requests which you are totally open to decline.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Everything okay there, Bones? I know when there's something wrong with you. Something's wrong, right? What can I do to help?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Angela and I had a fight.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nothing I can do to help!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You want to hear about it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Why not?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because her and Angela are best friends. And Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree that Angela was wrong. And then you know, the two of them are going to make up and then they're going to get mad at me. So no thank you.

Hank: You should go on a gameshow. You'd clean up.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I tell her that *all the time*. But you know, she's already loaded.
Hank: She's got talent, charm, beauty, money. And you're just friends?... I didn't raise you very well.

Angela Montenegro: Are we experimenting on Booth? Because if so, I'd like to help out.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Make fun of the naked guy. Knock yourself out.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I won't say anything about the scream, if you don't say anything about the gun.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Those terms are satisfactory.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: And if he was killed by two gunmen, then the government lied. They covered it up.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Throughout history, governments have lied with impunity to other governments and to their own citizens. Booth, does - does this have anything to do with the fact that your ancestor was a - a famous assasin?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: John Wilkes Booth, who killed President Lincoln.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You promised you would never mention that. You said that to me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You told me not to. I never promised. I promise now. I promise now!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm the gambler. I believe in giving this a chance. Look, I want to give this a shot.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You mean us? No. The FBI won't let us work together.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't do that! That is no reason.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You - you thought you were protecting me. But you're the one who needs protecting.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Protection from what?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: From me. I don't have your kind of open heart.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: She's easily as pretty as I am. I mean... using me as a standard.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you are the standard.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Andrew is not as handsome as you. Using you as a standard. He is, however, taller. Catherine isn't as smart as I am.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, I'm not as smart as Hacker.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, you once said he's a doofus.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He is a doofus, smart doofus.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I just think - maybe I've lost my advantage because of all the people I'm involved with, all the relationships. They complicate logical thought.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't mean that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Could we please just work?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen Bones, you gotta be really careful in that Indonesian jungle, okay?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, in a week, you're going to a war zone. Please don't be a hero. Please just... don't be you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why do we only solve crimes when we have a dead body?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Seriously? Because I'm a pathologist, and
Dr. Camille Saroyan: she's a forensic anthropologist. Fresh dead. Long time dead.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find it anomalous that you would leave her since you believe so emphatically in the mythic powers of love.
Gary Nesbitt: Do you understand what she's saying?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just nod.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find it anomalous that you would leave her since you believe so emphatically in the mythic powers of love.
Gary Nesbitt: Do you understand what she's saying?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just nod.

Terror: You know, you're real bad with a gun and a badge, but you won't always be on duty.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. I don't know what you're saying. What don't you spell it out for me.
Terror: I mean, watch your back.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh no... You - you shouldn't threaten Agent Booth. He can be very male.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth removes his coat and gun. And gives them to Bones] I don't like walking round looking over my shoulder. So what do you say we do this right now.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Can you sign this?
Dr. Lance Sweets: ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sign. Just sign and get back to your fun.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Parker could be angry because he senses how much Hannah means to you and feels that you don't want him to meet her.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: But I do. I just want it to be right. I want it to be perfect time.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Right. Do you think there is such a thing?

Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, you know, if this is on your mind then you should tell Hannah.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones and Hannah are friends now. I mean, isn't that what secrets are for? Hey, maybe you could just give me something to make me stop feeling guilty.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, perhaps this is difficult because you still have feelings for Dr. Brennan.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? No. No. You know what? This was a bad idea. I'll talk to Hannah myself, okay?
Dr. Lance Sweets: All right.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tell you what. Stop bringing up me and Bones, okay?
Dr. Lance Sweets: What are you doing? Why can't I turn this down? What did you do to this thing? Somebody. Somebody!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What happened to you?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Caroline hollered at me.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it means, Bones, that you know, you can love a lot of people in this world, but there's only one person you love the most.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But how do you know which person you love the most when you're confused by chemical messages travelling throughout your limbic system?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You just do.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...What if you let that person get away?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That person's not going anywhere.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I mean you like evidence. All right, Bones. Well, here's the evidence. The evidence is that there's something wrong here. Now, I - I fell in love with a woman. I had a kid. She doesn't want to marry me. And - the next woman, she's...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah! And now- I mean, what is it with women who don't want what I'm offering here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. Just, you know what - drink. Drink. I'm just really- I'm just mad. I'm just really mad at all of you. I'm just mad, okay? So you want to know how this is going to work? Okay, this is how this is going to work. Me and you are partners that's what we do. Me and you we're partners. And I love that. I think that's great. And we're good people that catch bad people, right? And - and we argue. We go back-and-forth. We're partners and sometimes after we solve the case, we come here and celebrate. That's what we do, we celebrate. So as far as I can see, that's what happens next. Are you okay with that?... Great caus you know, if you are, you stay here and you have a drink with me, all right? Maybe we have a little small talk, a little chit chat. If not, well, you can leave, there's the door. And tomorrow, uh, I'll find you another FBI guy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Those are my only choices?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Those are you only choices.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Then I'll have a drink

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm... quite strong.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well, you've always been strong.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You know the difference between stength and imperviousness, right?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, not if you're going to get all scientific on me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, a substance that is impervious to damage doesn't need to be strong.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hmm.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: When you and I met. I was an impervious substance. Now I'm a strong substance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I think I know what you mean.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A time could come when you aren't angry any more and I'm strong enough to risk losing the last of my imperviosness. Maybe then we could try to be together.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: But come on, Bones. He's hurting, all right? Whether you're right or wrong, you levelled the guy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's a grown man.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sometimes that makes it hurt more. What makes us human, Bones, is we feel compassion and regret.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why is this so important to you, Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because I know the kind of person you are. And I think you should let others in on the secret too.

Vincent Nigel-Murray: I... ple-please don't. Just don't make me go. I-I don't want to go. I love -it's been lovely. Being here with - with you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No! You can stay here as long as you like, Vincent. You're my favorite everyone knows that, right Booth?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE PRESSURE ON.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, I don't Bones.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: They looked so happy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, yeah. They had a baby.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Their whole lives have changed. You'd think they'd be a little more apprehensive.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you know. Having a baby... that's a good thing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You really think that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, it's a great thing. Why... what?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, come on Bones. Look the baby... the baby's fine, it's healthy. They had a healthy baby. Alright? They love each other. This is the happiest day of their lives. Okay?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm pregnant. You're the father.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Booth that's not fair. You don't want me to have a gun. It's gonna affect my performance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's the point. You want to have my back. If something like this rattles you, I can't trust you... So ready?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Let's Rock-n-Roll.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You really want to help? I got a great idea. What do you say we talk about something else? Let's talk about you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: My breasts are very sore. Would you mind if I spent the evening naked?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sure, yeah that's fine with me. No complaints here, that's great. See, now, isn't this a better conversation?

Temperance Brennan: You shouldn't hit people. You should use your words. That's what all the books say.
Chad Fergus: Are you serious?
Seeley Booth: Well you know, she's a new mom. Come on.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Didn't they teach you, you know, how not to be irritating at shrink camp?
Dr. Lance Sweets: It was a university.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Can I start buying you things now?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. You can't. But, hey, I'll tell you what. You can start buying Christine stuff.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know you'd like a new grill.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Christine would *love* a new grill. She would love it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Baby girls need grills.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: They need grills. And a new tool set. What is this?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's quinoa.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Queen wha...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Quinoa. It's a grain.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, with a new grill, we could cook steaksijuui

Special Agent Seeley Booth: For years, Tim Murphy was homeless. He was forgotten. He was one of those people in the streets that we try not to look at because the sight of them is just too painful. But we're all cut from the same cloth. Tim knew that. He knew how connected all of us are. He knew that if it wasn't for his three buddies, that Tim wouldn't be alive on September 11th to save the lives of Diane, Warren and James.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And we wouldn't be able to tell... Tim's son that his dad didn't die... a broken man living on the streets, Sean. But, he was as brave and noble as the best of us. We lay him to rest today a hero.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: From now on when one of us has been shot at, has to tell the other one right away
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, unless one of us is already dead
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wh-what does this all mean, Sweet? Spell it out.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, Dr. Brennan is Pelant's endgame. He's trying to replace you. Has he done anything to prevent the two of you from getting together that we don't know about.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'll take that as a "yes."

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You should not read off that thing! News should come from the newspaper!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You also feel we should go to work on a horse?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ha, you know, technology is not all about improvement! Me personally, I like to feel the newspaper in my hands
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I have access to over 100 newspapers and wire services. Not to mention millions of websites and blogs
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Pff, right, blogs! I mean, some guy in his underwear living in his mom's basement giving his take on the economy!

Dr. Lance Sweets: You did a good thing, Booth. I know you and Angela haven't exactly been friends lately.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, wait a second; this wasn't about Angela. I just wanted Bones to have a bachelorette party.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: "Okay"? Don't say "okay" to me.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Dr. Lance Sweets: That wasn't an "okay" okay; it was just an okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: See, you don't even know how to say just "okay".
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You said... All right, forget it.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow, that's an awful coincidence
Professor Leon Watters: The concept of coincidences is erroneous! It's possible to define a formulation of patterned interaction between within the universe
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm sorry! Is that some kind of confession?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, just a fact

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Progress is slower than I'd prefer. I had a new intern, forced upon me by the Secretary of State
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You mean the real Secretary of State?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Fuentes is a defector from Cuba, brilliant but arrogant!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hmm, brilliance and arrogant! Must be real tuff to work with!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It is
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I... I know this

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: After Mr. Abernathy and I finished separating the remains that were mixed in with Daniel Barr's, I realized that we're missing parts of the victim.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How? He's ash.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Based on his size, after cremation, his remains should weigh 3 kilograms. We received only 2.31 kilograms.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So you're missing almost 2 pounds of the victim. Why can't you just say "2 pounds" instead of getting all metricky?

I am not set in my ways! I never have been, and I never will be.

FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: You are an idiot, you know that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Excuse me.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Do you really think you're gonna do better than me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You should get out while you can.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Look, I know that what happened to you is messed up. And then what happened to Sweets. But remember that Sweets trusted me to work with you. So when you treat me like crap, you're treating Sweets like crap, too.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really. Okay, what, do I have to give you quarters now so you can play the arcade games?
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: C'mon. You'd be just as excited if we were at a- what are you in to? Gardening?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm in to solving a murder.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh my God!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? You get bit?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it's my book! In the clearance section.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh my God!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? You get bit?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it's my book! In the clearance section.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Keep your eyes open; never know what we're walking into.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I always assume bullets.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. So. We couldn't get to the remains from the lower floors, so I finally get to use my super winch!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh hey, bug boy uses a new toy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm not gonna let your cold, dark heart ruin my lucky day. Alright?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Luck has nothing to do with it, Dr. Hodgins. But, I imagine there are easier ways to look at the remains.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, you guys are a couple of real downers. But, you're too late!

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. It's all so confusing. These bones are so numerous. I hope it shows the funny bone. Because it's so humorous.

Seeley Booth: Yeah, so, is this Molly Delson?
Camille Saroyan: Could very well be
James Aubrey: "Could very well be" isn't enough to inform her parents!
Camille Saroyan: Could you take a tone with me? What... what's with the tone?
Seeley Booth: He's hungry

Wetchil: Welcome to Sandwich Hut. I'm Jamie. What can I get you?
Seeley Booth: Answers

Seeley Booth: What's with the demon eyes?
Jack Hodgins: Michael Vincent, he flushed my lenses, so these are all I had
Seeley Booth: Right, I mean, of course you have demon prescription lenses. Right?
Jack Hodgins: You don't?
Camille Saroyan: Just change them up as soon as you can, okay, Beelzebub?

Seeley Booth: you have a tendency to say the exact wrong thing at the worst possible moment
Temperance Brennan: And then other times, I say exactly what is needed. Like this morning when I skillfully negotiated sex, not just once but twice.
Caroline Julian: God bless you, child. I couldn't have proven my point better myself.
Seeley Booth: Know what, it was three times.

Seeley Booth: I told Christine the Tooth Fairy's gonna be paying a visit.
Temperance Brennan: Actually, I'd prefer it if we didn't do that.
Seeley Booth: Why?
Temperance Brennan: It's a modern pastiche of minor myths which completely lack thought or substance.
Seeley Booth: It's tradition. There's no harm in that
Temperance Brennan: On the contrary, I don't want to teach our daughter that it is okay for a stranger to break into her room and steal discarded body parts.

Seeley Booth: There's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Special Agent Seeley Booth. And you're under arrest for the murder of Stanley Belridge.
Temperance Brennan: And I'm not Wanda. I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan. I'm also the mother of his children.

Seeley Booth: I don't want to miss that whore sauce
Temperance Brennan: Will you please stop referring to the puttanesca as "whore sauce
Seeley Booth: I'm sorry but does "puttanesca" not mean "in the style of the whore" in Italian?
Temperance Brennan: Yeah, it does, and every time I make it, I regret having told you that.

Tim: Do you have an appointment?
Seeley Booth: Don't need one. See that? FBI.

Temperance Brennan: You hear that? It's the cocking of a Colt .45 pointed directly at your head. Now lower the knife.
Seeley Booth: Thanks, Bones, I appreciate it. You know, you're lucky my partner showed up, or you would have had a bullet right in your chest. Where'd you get the gun?
Temperance Brennan: I don't have one, but I do have these handy sound files. I considered going with the pumped shotgun, but that seemed like a bit much.
Seeley Booth: Got to be kidding me

Dr. Brennan represents this Bureau and its values more than any agent that I have ever worked with. I mean, she made a mistake. Look, we all do. And we all are gonna make mistakes in the future, and we should be able to make those mistakes. We should be able to learn from them, grow from them and be given a second chance

Seeley Booth: Lightning-quick reflexes. Just like her dad, huh? Fast like a flea
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Aw, you remembered

Seeley Booth: I read the short story that Parker gave you and he might be a better writer than you
Temperance Brennan: Well, that's an opinion I'm certain my fans would disagree with, but yes, Parker is a talented writer

Seeley Booth: I read the short story that Parker gave you and he might be a better writer than you
Temperance Brennan: Well, that's an opinion I'm certain my fans would disagree with, but yes, Parker is a talented writer

Seeley Booth: Everyone knows that laughter's the best medicine.
Temperance Brennan: No, penicillin is the best medicine. It's saved countless millions from infections.
Seeley Booth: Okay, now what? You're being funny?
Temperance Brennan: No, I'm being serious.
Seeley Booth: You'd rather take penicillin over laughter? That's like saying that you'd take mould over the Stooges.
Temperance Brennan: Penicillin is not a mould. It's derived from fungi.
Seeley Booth: Well, okay, well, the Stooges are fun guys.

Seeley Booth: You know what, I'm gonna prove it to you. Pull over and let me drive
Temperance Brennan: Great, excellent idea. Let's risk the lives of both of our children's parents so you can feel manly and virile and young
Seeley Booth: I am manly, virile and young.
Temperance Brennan: And I'm driving.

Seeley Booth: New rule, serial killers don't get cool or frightening nicknames.
Camille Saroyan: No matter how terrifying they are.

Francis Byers: Is this where he died?
Seeley Booth: No, this is where he went to heaven.
Temperance Brennan: My husband is euphemistically referring to sex By the sheer quantity...
Seeley Booth: You're gonna need a new cleaning service.

Caroline Julian: Aldo was a good man, Seeley. You have my sympathies
Seeley Booth: Thanks
Caroline Julian: You're right. Sympathy sucks

Temperance Brennan: The victim jumped 30 feet off an overpass and landed on a passing car
Seeley Booth: That's gonna leave a dent
Temperance Brennan: I imagine it would, given the gravitational acceleration rate of 9.8 meter per...
Seeley Booth: Ah, come on, Bones, it's too early for math. Too early
Temperance Brennan: It's never too early for math
Seeley Booth: Everything before 12 is too early, everything after 12 is too late
Temperance Brennan: That leaves no time for math
Seeley Booth: I don't want math
Temperance Brennan: I want math!

James Aubrey: You know the saying: Once a ranger, always a ranger.
Seeley Booth: That's not the Rangers' slogan.
James Aubrey: I'm thinking of the Power Rangers.