Vern: This isn't funny! What am I supposed to eat?Teddy: You could cook your dick.Chris: It'd be a small meal.
Gordie: Why did he have to die, Chris? Why did Denny have to die?Chris: I don't know.Gordie: It should've been me.Chris: Don't say that.Gordie: It should've been me.Chris: Don't say that, man!Gordie: I'm no good. My dad said it. I'm no good.Chris: He doesn't know you.Gordie: He hates me.Chris: He doesn't hate you.Gordie: He hates me!Chris: No! He just doesn't know you.
Vern: What am I supposed to do, think of everything? I brought the comb!Teddy: Oh, great! You brought the comb! What did you bring a comb for? You don't even have any hair!
Two for flinching!