Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.Large Man with Dead Body: Why?The Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.
Read more Tim the Enchanter QuotesFrom: Monty Python and the Holy Grail
King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary!Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch!King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off!Black Knight: No, it isn't.King Arthur: What's that, then?Black Knight: I've had worse.King Arthur: You liar!Black Knight: Come on, you pansy!
Minstrel: Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...Sir Robin: That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot.
Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.Sir Lancelot: Am not.