Jerry Seinfeld: He's a bubble-boy!George Costanza: A bubble-boy?Jerry Seinfeld: Yes, a bubble-boy.Susan Biddle Ross: What's a bubble-boy?Jerry Seinfeld: He lives in a bubble.George Costanza: Boy!
Jerry Seinfeld: I'm going out with one of the Miss America contestants. You want to go?Kramer: What state?Jerry Seinfeld: Rhode Island.Kramer: They're never in contention.
Went out to dinner the other night. Check came at the end of the meal, as it always does. Never liked the "check at the end of the meal" system, because money's a very different thing before and after you eat. Before you eat, money has no value. You don't care about money when you're hungry. You sit down in a restaurant and you're like the ruler of an empire... "More drinks! Appetizers! Quickly, quickly! It will be the greatest meal of our lives." Then after the meal, you know, you got the pants open, you got the napkins destroyed, cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes. Then the check comes at that moment. People are always upset, you know. They're mystified by the check. They're... "What is this? How could this be?" They start passing it around the table. "Does this look right to you? We're not hungry now. Why are we buying all this food?"
Jerry Seinfeld: All right, Elaine but this is beyond news. This is like Pearl Harbor! Or the Kennedy assassination! It's like not even news. It's total shock!Elaine Benes: Oh, come on, Jerry. Please, please, please, please, please!Jerry Seinfeld: George Constanza...Elaine Benes: Yeah?Jerry Seinfeld: Is getting married!Elaine Benes: Get out!