Mac: The only way that my dad is not going to kill us is if he thinks we're already dead.Charlie Kelly: Oh, great, I hope you'd say that. Great, let's kill ourselves. Let's do it.
North Dakota Woman: Oh, you really know your way around.Dennis Reynolds: Well, if I've learned anything from films like Executive Decision or Passenger 57, there's always a way into the cargo hold.North Dakota Woman: You're weird.Dennis Reynolds: You have no idea.Dennis Reynolds: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Nothing with my lips, all right? I don't want to do that with you.
Frank Reynolds: All right, now pretend that this shoe is an unboned chicken and you're gonna cook it tonight and make a tasty dinner that's gonna smell all through the house like cooked chicken.Beth: Actually, I'm vegan.Frank Reynolds: Okay, then pretend this shoe is whatever you people eat. Maybe it is a shoe.Dee Reynolds: Nice one.
Dennis Reynolds: How are we doing over here?Dee Reynolds: Uh... Not well. This is ridiculous. People are definitely starting to notice.Dennis Reynolds: Of course they're starting to notice. There's a grown man crammed inside of a couch for Christ's sake. They're going to notice. So let's just talk to somebody. Can you grab that guy?Dee Reynolds: [to two office workers] Hey you two!Dennis Reynolds: Heyyyyy! So how we doing at the Christmas party? We having a good time?Woman Office Worker: Yes, great time.Dee Reynolds: Great! So, uh... Frank Reynolds?Dennis Reynolds: Oh yeah, we were just talking about him. He's the worst, huh?Woman Office Worker: Do... Do you work here?Dennis Reynolds: ...Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. We hop around. Consultationists. So we consult here... we consult across the street too...Man Office Worker: Is there a man in that couch?Dennis Reynolds: Ha ha! What are you saying? A man in a couch? That's absurd!Man Office Worker: No, I believe there's a man in that couch right there!Dennis Reynolds: There is no man! There's no man! Say something things about Frank Reynolds, say them loud, and make sure they're horrible horrible things, then we'll deal with the man in the couch!Man Office Worker: Okay, so there is a man in the couch!Dee Reynolds: All right, just call Frank Reynolds an asshole!Man Office Worker: Who is Frank Reynolds?Dennis Reynolds: He's the man in the couch!Woman Office Worker: Oh, my God! What are you people doing?Dennis Reynolds: Would you just say something about Frank that's horrible? Call him an asshole!Woman Office Worker: Frank Reynolds is an asshole!