Anyway, I'd better shut up, because I plan on-I'm planning on a big move later and I think I might hurt my chances if I keep criticizing your food.
Read more Larry David QuotesFrom: Curb Your Enthusiasm
Jeff... You know, I never said anything, but I noticed you use way too much mayo. You know, when they make tuna, there's already mayo in it. You don't have to put it on the bread.
Larry David: Thanks so much for stopping. Man oh man, I've been so lost, I mean I've been driving around for a half hour here, I'm just trying to get back to, um, to the freeway, to L.A...Brian: You don't recognize me, do you?Larry David: No...Brian: From the driving range, the other day? You're the, uh, you're the guy from the driving range. I was right behind you on the range...Larry David: Oh, right! Right! Wow!Brian: ...right, and you wouldn't help me out with the ball? The range ball, it fell and you wouldn't help me out with the ball...Larry David: The ball? Oh, no no no... you know what? My back was killing me that day, I couldn't bend down.Brian: Oh, your back was... I didn't pick up on that because you were hitting the ball so well, you were swinging great...Larry David: No, that's twisting. I could twist, I couldn't bend.Brian: Ohh, ah, OK, right... difference, yeah. Two different things.Larry David: It's a big difference, really. Oh my God, you must have thought I was such an asshole.Brian: Well I... you know, I didn't know why you wouldn't help me with the ball.Larry David: Oh god, what kind of prick doesn't pick up somebody's ball.Brian: I thought you could help out a little bit, but... I understand.Larry David: You know what, I would have picked up the ball in a second if I could bend down.Brian: It's your back, it was your back, right.Larry David: Completely. I'm sorry. I apologize.Brian: Sure. No, I understand, I understand. It's OK, it's alright.Larry David: Wait a second... are you going to Gil's party?Brian: Yeah that's why I'm... you know Gil? Oh, from the club, you must know Gil? I'm old friends with Gil, yeah, we... buddies for a long time.Larry David: So, uh, can I follow you over there?Brian: Should you be going to the party with your back? I mean, can you bend over, can you bend with your back?Larry David: Yeah...Brian: Well then maybe you should just bend over and kiss my ass, and maybe next time you'll remember to uh, pick up the fucking golf ball.
Richard Lewis: Listen, Saturday night, do me a favor. I love you, all right? We have enough good stuff in the bank to get over this. But Saturday night, at dinner, could we maybe, maybe try to have an apology from you?Larry David: First of all, there's no way I can have dinner with you on Saturday night. That's out.Richard Lewis: Hold it... am I hearing this?Larry David: I'm not... have dinner? Dinner?Richard Lewis: You know, our relationship's at stake right now.Larry David: Huh?Richard Lewis: The relationship's at stake.Larry David: Get outta here!Richard Lewis: You better call me later on, by sundown.Larry David: By sundown? What are you, Gary Cooper, by sundown?Richard Lewis: That's funny. You know, I'm trying not to laugh, but that's funny. You better call me by sundown.Larry David: By sundown? Is the posse gonna come get me?Richard Lewis: That's right.