Barney Stinson: You're my best friend, and my best man. Of course I trust you.Barney Stinson: Oh come on, you don't have to cry about it.Ted Mosby: It's not that. That was a $600 bottle of scotch!Barney Stinson: Oh my ggg - -
Ted Mosby: Barney, what are you doing? You can't take this apartment from Marshall and Lily.Barney Stinson: You think I have no morals whatsoever? I'm only pretending to live here so I can take this woman here, nail her and never have to see her again. I'm not a monster.
Cray-cray gotta go bye-bye before you get stab-stabbed.
Lily, I love you. But asking someone to come see your play is like asking for a ride to the airport, or to crash on someone's couch or to help you move. Call a cab, book a room, hire some movers and repeat after me, friends don't let friends come see their crappy play!