Peter B. Parker Quotes

Peter B. Parker : This could literally not get any weirder.
Spider-Ham : It can get weirder!
Spider-Ham : I just washed my hands. That' why they're wet.
Spider-Ham : No other reason.

Peter B. Parker : All right, people, let's do this one last time. My name is Peter B. Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last twenty-two years I thought I was the one and only Spider-Man. I'm pretty sure you know the rest. You see, I saved the city, fell in love, I got married, saved the city some more, maybe too much, my marriage got testy, made some dicey money choices - don't invest in a Spider-themed restaurant. Then like fifteen years passed, blah blah blah super boring, I broke my back, a drone flew into my face, I buried Aunt May, my wife and I split up. But I handled it like a champion.
Peter B. Parker : 'Cause you know what? No matter how many times I get hit, I always get back up. And I got a lot of time to reflect and work on myself. Did you know that seahorses that they mate for life? Could you imagine a seahorse seeing another seahorse and then making it work? She wanted kids and it scared me. I'm pretty sure I broke her heart. Flash forward, I'm in my apartment doing pushups, doing ab crunches, getting strong -
Peter B. Parker : - when this weird thing happened. And I gotta say, weird things happen to me a lot. But this was *real* weird. You see, I was in New York, but... things were different. Also I was dead. And blonde. I was kind of... perfect. It was like looking in a mirror. I have a feeling the thing that brought me here was the thing that got him killed. You wanna know what happened next?
Peter B. Parker : Me, too.

We're the Spider... uh... Gang!

Spider-Ham : That's all, folks.
Peter B. Parker : Is he allowed to say that? Legally?

Peter B. Parker : What did you say your name was?
Doc Ock : Dr. Olivia Octavius.
Peter B. Parker : Can I assume your friends call you Doc Ock?
Doc Ock : My friends actually call me Liv. My *enemies* call me Doc Ock.

One thing I know for sure: don't do it like me. Do it like you.

Doc Ock : If we fire again this week, there could be a black hole under Brooklyn. You see this? And this? This is multiple dimensions beginning to crash into each other.
Peter B. Parker : This is pretty standard Spider-Man stakes. You get used to it. Watch this. He's gonna say "You've got 24 hours."
Kingpin : You've got 24 hours.
Doc Ock : What this means is there could be a rupture in the space-time continuum.
Peter B. Parker : Ooh. That's bad. Actually, everything she said was bad. I was lying before.

Peter B. Parker : I love this burger. So delicious. Mm. One of the best burgers I've ever had. In my universe, this place closed six years ago. Mm. I don't know why. I really don't. Mm!
Peter B. Parker : You have money, right? I'm not very liquid right now.