Bruce Wayne Quotes

You're the reason why I get up at 4:00 in the afternoon and pump iron until my chest is positively sick.

What am I gonna do? Get a bunch of criminals together to fight the criminals? That's a stupid idea.

I deserve this today, today I deserve it.

Black. All important movies start with a black screen... And music... Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous... And logos... Really long and dramatic logos... Warner Bros. Why not "Warner Brothers"? I don't know... DC... The house that Batman built. Yeah, what, Superman? Come at me, bro. I'm your Kryptonite... Hmm... Not sure what RatPac does, but that logo is macho. I dig it... Okay. Get yourself ready for some... reading. "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Hooo." No. I said that. Batman is very wise. I also have huge pecs and a nine-pack. Yeah, I've got an extra ab. Now, let's start the movie.

White. All important movies end with a white screen.

Wow, that was fun! Really hope nobody was recording that. Let me see. Oh, this thing is on. This thing is recording.

Batman : Hey, kid!
Robin : Yes, sir?
Batman : You're super nimble, right?
Robin : I sure am!
Batman : And small?
Robin : Very.
Batman : And quiet?
Robin : When I desire to be.
Batman : And 110% expendable?
Robin : I don't know what that means, but okay!

Robin : Woo-hoo! A month ago, I had no dads. Then I had one dad. Now I have two dads, and one of them is Batman!
Batman : Yeah!
Robin : It's raining dads...

Batman : All righ, kid. We need to avoid Commissioner Gordon. So, lesson number three. When going stealth, you gotta hide every part of you, physically and emotionally. Got it?
Robin : Yeah!

Batman : Batman's life lesson number two. Vigilantes don't have bedtimes.
Robin : Yes! So, what's the vigilante policy on cookies?
Batman : Unlimited!

Batman : We are gonna steal the Phantom Zone projector from Superman.
Robin : Steal?
Batman : Yeah. We have to right a wrong. And sometimes, in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. Gandhi said that.
Robin : Are we sure Gandhi said that?
Batman : I'm paraphrasing.

Batman : So, are you ready to follow Batman and maybe learn a few life lessons along the way?
Robin : I sure am, Dad Two! But first, where's the seat-belt?
Batman : The first lesson is, life doesn't give you seat-belts! Let's go!

Robin : Wow! Look, it's the Bat-Sub!
Batman : Wait, don't touch that!
Robin : Over there! It's the Bat-Space Shuttle!
Batman : Please keep your hands off that.
Robin : Look, it's the Bat-Zeppelin!
Batman : Don't touch that, either!
Robin : It's the Bat-Train!
Batman : No!
Robin : It's the Bat-Kayak!
Batman : No!
Robin : It's the Bat-Dune Buggy!
Batman : No!
Robin : It's the Bat... Shark Repellent?
Batman : Uh, actually, you can touch that. It's completely useless

Robin : Hey, I was thinking. If I'm gonna be a superhero, and go on awesome superhero missions like this one, can we use code names? Mine can be Robin.
Batman : I'm sorry, say that again?
Robin : Robin.
Batman : As in the small, Midwestern frail bird?
Robin : Yeah, and I already have a catch phrase. Tweet, tweet, on the street.
Batman : Hard pass.
Robin : And a song.
Robin : Fly, Robin, fly.
Batman : Harder pass.

Robin : What?
Robin : It's the Batcave! Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygooo-!
Robin : Batman, woah!
Batman : You're darn right, woah!
Robin : Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?
Batman : No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.

Robin : My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick.
Batman : Well, children can be cruel.

Okay, Robin. Together, we're gonna punch these guys so hard, words describing the impact are gonna spontaneously materialize out of thin air.

Batman : Hey, 'puter, I'm home.
Computer : Welcome home, sir. Initializing Batcave music. So, did anything exciting happened today?
Batman : I saved the city again. It was off the chain. Anyway, I should probably have some grub.
Computer : Alfred left your lobster thermidor in the fridge.
Batman : Oh, that's my favorite. I can't wait.
Batman : Not 20 minutes. Stupid.

Barbara Gordon : Why did you build this thing with only one seat?
Batman : 'Cause last time I checked, I only have one butt.

Batman : Who never skips leg day?
Chorus : Batman!
Batman : Who always pays their taxes?
Batman , Chorus : Not Batman!

Hey mom, hey dad, I um, I saved the city again today, I think you would have been really proud.

The Joker : Are you seriously saying there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship?
Batman : Whoa. Let me tell you something, J-bird. Batman doesn't do 'ships.
The Joker : What?
Batman : As in "relationships." There is no "us." Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You mean nothing to me. No one does.

The Joker : You wanna play games, do you Batman? Save the city or catch your greatest enemy!
Batman : You think you're my greatest enemy?
The Joker : Who else drives you to one-up them the way I do?
Batman : Superman.
The Joker : Superman's not a bad guy!
Batman : I like to fight around.
The Joker : You're seriously saying that there's nothing special about us?
Batman : There is no "us". Never will be.

Computer : What is the password?
Batman : Iron Man sucks.