Jim : Did you see 'The Little Mermaid' on TV yesterday? Ariel, she's so hot!Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : She's a mermaid dude.Jim : Yeah, but not when she's on land, Oz.
Read more Jim Levenstein QuotesFrom: American Pie
Jim : Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?Kevin : You want to take this one?Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Like warm apple pie.Jim : Yeah?Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Yeah.Jim : Apple pie, huh?Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Uh huh.Jim : McDonald's or homemade?
Jim's Dad : It's like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game.Jim : Right.Jim's Dad : It's not a game.Jim : No.Jim's Dad : What you want is a partner to return the ball.
I would like to make an announcement. There is a gorgeous woman masturbating on my bed.