Richard Castle: Ahh! Ahhhhh!Richard Castle: I'm just kidding.Kate Beckett: Castle!Richard Castle: I can't believe you fell for that.
Alexis Castle: What is all that?Martha Rodgers: Oh, my lord.Richard Castle: Somewhere in one of these bags is the perfect baby shower gift for Jen and Ryan. I just need your help picking which one. Ready? Ta-da!Alexis Castle: No.Martha Rodgers: Is that a bulletproof baby vest?Alexis Castle: It's completely inappropriate.Richard Castle: Really?Martha Rodgers: Oh, my... so wrong.Richard Castle: Okay. Well, then you're gonna hate the onesies that say, "I'm with Officer Stupid."
Roy Montgomery: The feds say he's a white male, twenty-five to forty-five years old...Richard Castle: Could be me.Roy Montgomery: ...with a dysfunctional relationship with his mother.Richard Castle: Still me.Roy Montgomery: He has a menial, unimportant job.Kate Beckett: Definitely you.Richard Castle: Just for that, I base my next book on Esposito.
Kevin Ryan: Castle, how's the knee?Richard Castle: It's not the knee so much as the boredom.Javier Esposito: I thought you writers liked being alone.Richard Castle: Yeah, if I could write. But the painkillers make me a little loopy. Last night, I used the word 'speculate' three times in the same sentence.Kevin Ryan: Hmm. You *must* be bored. You've actually gone "Rear Window".Richard Castle: Alexis got me those as a joke to cheer me up. I have not yet resorted to voyeurism.Kevin Ryan: Then you are missing out.Javier Esposito: What? Let me see.Kevin Ryan: No. Hey!Javier Esposito: Give me the binoculars!Kevin Ryan: Dude, she was just about to take off her towel.Javier Esposito: Oh, the towel's off.Kevin Ryan: Yeah?Kate Beckett: Unless the body that you're looking at is dead, I suggest you drop those binoculars.