Juno Quotes
Best Juno Movie Quotes
Juno
Directed by: Jason Reitman
Written by: Diablo Cody
Starring: Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner
Released on: December 25, 2007
Taglines: A comedy about growing up... and the bumps along the way.
Juno Quotes
I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while.
I'm just gonna go ahead an nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to, you know... an infant
When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don't want to. All i see is pork swords.
Silencio, Old Man!
Can I use the facilities? Because being pregnant makes me pee like Seabiscuit!
I could so go for like a huge cookie right now, with like, a lamb kabob simultaneously.
Oh and you know what? I bought another Sonic Youth album and it sucked... it's just noise.
Bleeker's mom was possibly attractive once, but now she looks like a Hobbit. You know, the fat one that was in the Goonies.
You're quite the sellout, Mark. I mean... what would the Melvins say?
I need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.
And Paulie is actually great... in chair.
Mark Loring : It's not an apartment, it's a loft.
Vanessa Loring : Well, aren't you the cool guy?
Mark Loring : You could just wait a couple months. It's not like the baby's going to storm in here any second and demand dessert-colored walls.
Vanessa Loring : What to Expect says that readying the baby's room is an important process for women. It's called "nesting."
Mark Loring : Nesting, huh? Are you planning to build the crib out of twigs and saliva?
I am giving you the gift of life, screaming, pooping life, and you don't even have to be there when it comes out all covered in blood and guts
It ended with a chair.
You should try talking to it. 'Cause, like, supposedly they can hear you even though it's all, like, ten-thousand leagues under the sea.
It started with a chair.
They were Mark and Vanessa Loring. And they were beautiful even in black and white.
Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.
Hi, I'm calling to procure a hasty abortion...
Orange Tic-Tacs are Bleeker's one and only vice. When we made out, the day I got pregnant, his mouth tasted really tangy and delicious.
This is the most magnificent discarded living room set I've ever seen.
Uhhh, I hate it when adults use the term "sexually active." What does it even mean? Am I gonna like deactivate some day or is it a permanent state of being?
Yeah I came as soon as I got that ultrasound goo off my pelvis. It was crazy actually, my step-mom verbally abused the ultrasound tech and we got escorted off the premises.
I named my guitar "Roosevelt"-not Ted, Franklin. You know, the hot one, with polio.
Juno MacGuff : ...and the receptianist tried to get me to take these condoms that looked like grape suckers and was just babbling away about her freaking boyfiends pie balls! Oh an Su-Chin was there and she was like, "Hi babies have fingernails." Fingernails!
Leah : Oh, gruesome. I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?
You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
Juno MacGuff : Hey, Dad.
Mac MacGuff : Hey, big puffy version of June bug. Where you been?
Juno MacGuff : Oh, just out dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.
Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, "Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment."
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